JUSCO PEARL MAGAZINE

Pregnancy is exactly like a roller coaster. You may have stood in line for a while, excited and wondering what it’s going to be like or you may have been dragged on by your partner or friends. But once on it, it’s thrilling and terrifying all at once. Once off it, you might run right back to the end of the line to go again. However, unlike a roller coaster, you need to make a great deal of financial, practical and emotional preparations before you get on. Pregnancy is a life-changing experience and you’ll find it’s easier to handle if you are realistic in your planning.

::Can You Really ‘Prepare’ for Motherhood?

Few stages of a woman’s life are as all encompassing as becoming a mother. Yet, the information available on how to prepare for one of our most important roles is sketchy at best. But can you really prepare for motherhood? The experts say yes–to a certain extent. Nothing is going to prepare you for the emotional highs and lows that are a part of the job description, but you can prepare yourself for the physical demands of motherhood and fi gure out the logistics of becoming a parent.

::Lifestyle Changes

The first step in becoming parents is the lifestyle compromises you’ll have to make as soon as you conceive. Your pregnancy symptoms may keep you from going out with your friends. You may simply find sipping cranberry and soda while your buddies sip their cosmos to be less than exciting. Financial and practical concerns may suddenly arise as you realise the costs of child rearing and the sacrifices you’ll have to make in order to meet them. Luckily, you are not alone with these concerns. There comes a point when every couple realises the extent of the changes having children will bring to their lifestyle. It’s important to be sure you both understand your responsibilities and support each other as your lives begin to change.

::Emotional Preparation

Preparing emotionally for the demands of parenthood is a very important part of your pregnancy that is often neglected but can save a great deal of heartache later on. Lisa Groen Braner, author of The Mother’s Book of Well-Being (Conari, 2003), believes that becoming a mother isn’t as automatic or as simple as everyone assumes. “The passage from woman to mother is complex,” says Braner. “It causes us to reexamine who we are and who we want to be for our children. Becoming a mother suddenly places you in the seat of true adulthood, yet it takes time before one feels comfortable and confident in the role.” Braner believes this is important to remember when anticipating childbirth. The expectations of new parents are high, fed by a culture that shows new motherhood to be a time of bliss and tranquility. “So often we come to the role with perceptions of how motherhood will be and realise how unprepared we really are,” says Braner. “Becoming a mother may be the first time a woman is ‘called’ to devote herself to a job unconditionally. Some moments find her strong and tireless, and others will find her exhausted and unsure.” Braner cautions new mothers to turn away from anything that might deny, burden or sabotage their new roles. “ If a new mother is gentle with herself, she is able to extend herself more intently to her child,” says Braner. “Love for oneself begets love for one’s child.”

::Mental Preparation

Understand that being a mum is very demanding physically; therefore it’s very important for you to eat properly and get the right type of exercise when you are pregnant. Dr. Kevin Leman, author of more than a dozen parenting books including The New Birth Order Book (Revell, 1998) and First-Time Mom (Tyndale, 2004), believes it is important for mothers to be at their physical best before the baby comes. “Mothers who eat well and exercise before the baby comes are more physically and emotionally able to withstand the demands that motherhood makes on the body,” says Dr. Leman. Know that you’ll be waking up at wee hours of the morning to feed your baby and you’ll probably be tired the next day but you still need to take care of your newborn.

Get a book about pregnancy and caring for a newborn and read up. A lot of changes are occurring in your body. The more you know the less anxiety you will feel.

Another source for good, solid mothering information can be found in a mentor. She doesn’t necessarily have to be a member of your family and you don’t necessarily have to take all the advice she hands out. But a compassionate woman with experience can help you feel more confident about yourself as a mother and give some on-target, no-nonsense advice.

Also, remember that joining a mother’s support group before you have your child can be a great source of information as well as being an emotional support.

::Physical Preparation

::Practical Preparation

Be prepared to see your doctor a lot. That means if you are working, be prepared to take time off. Schedule appointments ahead of time and if you can’t take too much time from work, talk to your doctor about late afternoon appointments. Besides that, you should also discuss with your doctor and have a think through over your birthing plan. Whether you want natural childbirth or you’re opting for epidural, you ought to have the choice written down. Pre-register at the hospital or birthing centre of your choice, but do your homework and ask around so you will have the experience you want to have. Go over the birth plan with the hospital. There may be some things that you want to do that the hospital does not allow so knowing before hand will help you in your decision.

Another exercise in logistics that needs to be considered is your work schedule and your husband’s work schedule. How long can you take off work? Who will care for your child when you do go back to work? Do you really want to go back to work? And if you don’t, can you afford to stay home with your baby for an extended period of time? Dr. Leman says that the one piece of advice he always gives parents-to-be is to try to live off one income immediately after finding out there is a baby on the way. “That way you become used to living on one income and will feel freer to make the decision to stay home with your child if that is what you and your husband want,” says Dr. Leman. By living on one income for a while, you may also be able to set some money aside for emergencies.

The Best Advice

If you feel overwhelmed or are overloaded with information remember that the best piece of advice is to trust your instincts! Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. Some scientists believe that there is a part of our brains that instinctively knows how to handle labor and delivery as well as how to care for an infant. While caring for a newborn may seem a bit awkward at first, you will very quickly adjust!
Source:
http://www.mypregnancyguide.com,
http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/preconception/areyouready.htm
& ‘First Time Motherhood’ by Jennifer Gomez